You Were Meant to Stand Out

stand out

Why do so many of us compare ourselves to others? This world puts so much focus on the outer man and looking “perfect”. Why do we allow media to set the standard of what real beauty is? If you look at these models that you see on the cover of magazines, I can guarantee they are photoshopped to be flawless. What is so bad is that so many young girls look at these magazines and media and feel like they have to look a certain way or be a certain size to be beautiful. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with looking your best and taking care of your body. We should all do that, but we shouldn’t compare ourselves to anyone. What might work for one person, may not work for someone else.
Let me tell you that it took me years to learn to accept myself. I will never be a size 2 because my bone structure won’t allow it and I’m fine with that. So many of us women have a hard time accepting and loving ourselves. We look at the “perfect” images wherever we go and if we allow ourselves to start comparing, we will feel so bad about ourselves. I struggled for years with my self esteem and really thought I was ugly and fat. I never felt like I fit in anywhere and thought there was something wrong with me. It wasn’t until I allowed God in completely that He was able to heal me and set me free from my mess. I had to learn what He says about me in His word and believe it.
You see, we are all meant to be different. If we all looked the same and acted the same, this world would be boring. There’s a reason you and I are different. We need to embrace that and learn to love ourselves for who we are. God made us to be unique and He uses us in our uniqueness. It is so liberating when you learn to walk in that and to be happy with who He made you. No one can be a better you , than YOU! Never let anyone make you feel like there is something wrong with you because you don’t fit in their box. The only one who should be changing us is our Creator. He makes us better and better. A lot of people look at me funny because I have some tattoos and I am a bit different. I know it takes some church people who have been stuck in old ways a bit to embrace me and I’m okay with that. I know who I am and I know that My Father uses me just the way I am. I say this to encourage you to be yourself and embrace your differences. God needs us all with our differences because there is a variety of people who He needs to reach and we are His hands and feet on this earth. You can reach people that I won’t be able to and vice versa. Not everyone will set foot in a church building but we can reach others in our everyday life as we are free being all that our Father has made us to be and we allow His love to shine brightly through us. You are beautiful just the way you are. Never let anyone make you feel otherwise, not just because I say it,  but more importantly because your Heavenly Father says so.
Psalm 139:14 – I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..
~ Dez
#truthtalk

Truth Talk with Dez

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Why do so many of us compare ourselves to others? This world puts so much focus on the outer man and looking “perfect”. Why do we allow media to set the standard of what real beauty is? If you look at these models that you see on the cover of magazines, I can guarantee they are photoshopped to be flawless. What is so bad is that so many young girls look at these magazines and media and feel like they have to look a certain way or be a certain size to be beautiful. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with looking your best and taking care of your body. We should all do that, but we shouldn’t compare ourselves to anyone. What might work for one person, may not work for someone else.
Let me tell you that it took me years to learn to accept myself…

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Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart
And do not rely on your own insight or understandingIn all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him,
And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way]. – Proverbs 3:5-6 AMP
  The picture you see here is a pendant that my husband bought for me about a year ago. I absolutely love dragonflies. I have learned to love them even more in the past few years. I was always fascinated at the way they move and the way they adjust to the winds and how they can maneuver through almost anything.
I am seer and God has always taught me and shown me things through out my life in different ways. Sometimes it is through dreams, visions or sometimes it is through something I see in the natural. Anyways, a couple years ago I was outside taking a walk and there were a few dragonflies flying around me. I stopped to watch them and one flew right on front of my face and just stayed there for a few seconds, just long enough for me to see it and laugh. I thought it was the cutest thing. So as I was watching them fly around me and then fly away, I heard the Lord tell me that the way they move and the way they can adjust quickly and maneuver through changing winds is what he has been cultivating in me through out my life. It was like I got a download at that moment as He showed me all the things He has brought me through and how He has been allowing so many things to break me out of my comfortable place to bring me to a place where I surrender total control to Him.
   You see, I used to be a control freak. I didn’t realize it until I got married but I had to have everything planned out and know exactly what was going to happen all the time. If anything disrupted my plans or my flow I was not happy and neither was my family. There’s nothing wrong with planning but we have to be open to allow God to interrupt “our” plans if He wants to. There was a season in my life, about 4 – 5 years ago, when it felt like everything around me was being uprooted and so many things were changing all at the same time. It was so overwhelming at first because I still was struggling with the need to be in control. I had to leave the job I had because of health reasons and my husband who had been working 2 jobs for a long time got a new job. I was able to go to school after a door of opportunity opened for me. There was a lot more, but you get the picture. So much changed when I really learned to let go in this area. I became a better wife and a better mother. I used to be more rigid with my kids and expected so much more than I should have from them. As I grew in this area I learned that it was ok to let my kids be kids and to take things as they came and not freak out or get angry when accidents happened. I hadn’t realized how much this need to be in control had affected me and those around me until I was free from it. I can truly say I am a much happier person now than I was back then and I’m sure my husband and my kids are as well.
   I had to learn through this time to submit and learn to be obedient to my Father’s leading. There were things that He asked of me that didn’t make sense in my natural mind but He was teaching me to trust Him and learn His voice. I also had to learn to be free from the opinions of man because there were many who did not understand but I knew that I was hearing from God and He continued to confirm His word. There were also many doors that opened as a result of our obedience. This was the start of a very long season for our family but it has been such an amazing learning process. My whole mindset changed as well. I used to get upset and worry when unexpected things happened and had to learn to let the worry and fear go and trust in God. Now my mindset is, “Ok, so what do we need to do or how do we need to adjust to make this work..” It is so liberating when you can learn to let go and learn to rides the winds of this life with total trust in the Father.
   You see, control is based in fear and it is deceiving. You think you have control but you really never do. You are really in bondage and the only way you can be truly free is to surrender all to the Lord. If you think about it, He knows the future. Who better to trust in than Him. He is so faithful and will never let you down. If you choose to let go and take His hand, He will lead you every step of the way and will teach you more than you can imagine. Looking back at my life, I am so thankful for all that I have been through because it has helped to shape me and mold me into the woman that God has designed me to be. I am still a work in progress but I am so much further along than I was and now I can fly like a dragonfly.
~ Dez

Tear Down Your Walls

Broken Wall

  Many of us live behind self made walls. Walls are supposed to protect us from harm but are these walls really protecting us or are they holding us captive? Are they keeping us distant from those who could love us or from the One who loves us most? What if we let our walls down and chose to trust again? It can be scary to come out from behind our walls. Some of us have lived behind them most of our lives. Some of us built them when we were small children, even before we knew what we were doing. We built them so we wouldn’t have to feel pain, hurt or rejection. We built them to hide from abuse or abandonment. We hid from our fears behind them.

Now that we are grown, how do we live outside of these walls? How do we allow ourselves to trust and risk feeling hurt or risk feeling that overwhelming pain that we have hid from for so long? What if the pain is too much? What if I allow someone to get close and they hurt me again? Like an animal who has lived in captivity all of it’s life has to learn how to survive when they are set free, we have to learn to live free. It can be down right hard and you will have moments when you run behind those walls again when someone hurts you or when you feel rejected. It’s those moments that you have to choose to face the pain and the rejection, work through it and lay it down. Learn to cast all your cares upon the Lord. Let Him heal those broken areas and heal those deep wounds that made you put up the walls long ago. We can never be truly free if we stay behind our walls. I lived most of my life behind these walls that I thought protected me. It became second nature to run behinds the walls when I was scared or hurt. Deep down I feared being rejected so I wouldn’t let people get too close. It was easier than risking being hurt or taken advantage of. God has had me in a process of healing some deep places in my life and has been digging up the roots. Now I am learning to tear down my walls piece by piece as I learn to walk in full trust and surrender and He teaches me that He can protect me better than I can protect myself. As I tear down these walls I get closer to Him than I ever imagined because those walls kept Him at a distance as well. I am learning to be free and stay free. It is a process like anything else but it is worth it. If you have a hard time trusting, remember that you can always trust in your Heavenly Father. He is not like man and He will never let you down. When all others reject you or cast you aside, He never will. He accepts you as you are, loves you more than anyone and He wants you to be free.

~ Dez

How Are You Shaping Your World?

  Have you ever stopped and listened to the words that people speak? How about the words that you speak? The Bible says that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” I like the Message version – “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” Proverbs‬ ‭18:21‬ ‭MSG. ‬‬Some people don’t realize how important their words are. If you are always speaking negatively, that’s what your life is going to be like. Don’t let your circumstances dictate what you speak or better yet, how you think. When our thoughts line up with what the Word tells us, we will speak in alignment with the Word and this is how you see circumstances turn around. Our words literally shape our world. Just think about the fact that God spoke this world and the universe into existence. He spoke and it became. He has given us this same power. It’s not for us to have whatever we want like a genie, but when we speak in line with His Word, things happen. This is why it is so important for us to know His Word. I can look back on my own life and testify of so many things that have turned around and changed because I chose to speak life even when a situation seemed dead and hopeless. My marriage, my husband, my children and my home and my life would not be what they are had I not learned this long ago. 

It takes a change of mind to learn to change your speech as well but it is possible. I used to be very negative many years ago and I could find the downside of any situation. It was pretty bad. God started dealing with me back then with my thoughts and my confession. Joyce Meyer was a great help to me in this area of my life. People who know me now probably wouldn’t believe how negative I was because I have learned to be the complete opposite. I choose to be positive no matter what situation I am in. It’s not always easy and yes I do have my human moments, but I pull myself together and keep going. I say that I went through the Holy Spirit boot camp of transforming my mind and my mouth. It’s not something that you can just pray away but it takes discipline, determination and GOD. He will help you if you ask Him. The Holy Spirit is the best teacher. If you struggle in this area, ask Him to help you. Start to spend more time in His Word and meditate on it. Listen to teachings and read books on it. If I can do it, anyone can. It is a process and it takes work like any real change but it will change your life and it will change your world. 

~ Dez

Are you Ready to Be Free?

mirror

   I want to talk about something that may not be too popular but it is something that we all need to hear. Those who know me know that I will always tell you the truth. I will tell it in love but I will give it to you straight. I have always said that a real friend speaks the truth to you even if it’s hard to hear or at the risk of you walking away. So I am going to talk to you as if I was talking to a friend. I wish someone had told me these things a long time ago. Face yourself and deal with your issues. Stop burying those things that you have been stuffing since you were a child. Take off your mask and stop pretending. Be honest with yourself and with God because He already knows anyways. He has been waiting for you to admit that you have issues so you can give them all over to Him and let Him heal you and set you free. Ok, I can just hear some people saying , “Oh I am free. The blood of Jesus has made me free.” Yes that’s true and there are some times when the Lord will do a quick work and set someone free in an instant but that’s not always the case. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Many times it takes a process and a renewal of your mind. I thank God that He didn’t do a quick work in me because I would not have learned all that I have. This process has been hard but so worth every moment.        Sometimes it does feel like I have spent most of my adult life fighting my own issues as well as issues from generations before me. You see, when I became a mother almost 21 years ago it changed me and I was determined to overcome the things that had crippled me as a child so that my children would be free. I asked God to show me myself and to put me on His potter’s wheel and make me over. Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it. Needless to say, that was the start of a long process and I am still in it. It was hard at first to see the mess that I was. It was so overwhelming. There were moments when I didn’t know how to handle it so I would stuff it and busy myself so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. But eventually my issues would resurface. I realized that they were not only affecting me, but they were affecting my marriage, my husband and my kids. I had to learn little by little to surrender as the Holy Spirit showed me another area that I needed to deal with. Fear held me back for many years and made it almost impossible to face myself but I was more determined to be free so I was willing to take the steps of faith that God put before me.

   I have always been the type of person who likes to figure things out and fix whatever the problem is. I am a problem solver. I can see an issue and then see the resolution. So when things in my own life hadn’t been “fixed”, it really frustrated me. I know that the ultimate fixer is Jesus. That took me time to learn too. I got to a place in my life where I had to surrender this and everything else to my Father so He could do the fixing.

  This has been a faith walk and I have had to learn to trust Him more than anything or anyone, even myself. How many of us are so self reliant that we don’t know how to truly let go and trust our Father?

   So, getting back to talking about issues, I believe we are in a time where God wants to set His people free for real. There are multitudes of believers sitting in churches all over the world who have never learned how to face and deal with their issues. The generations before only taught them to be strong, keep going, praise it away or just shove it under the carpet and go on with life. What they don’t realize is that this doesn’t work and it doesn’t make you strong. We must deal with our stuff if we want to be everything that God has destined us to be.

I myself have come to a place in my own life where I will do whatever it takes to be whole, healed and set free. There are certain roots that have needed to be dug up and pulled out. I thought I had dealt with these things but they kept coming back around. I have come to learn that there are some things that you need to get help to deal with and that’s ok. For me it has been roots of rejection that I have needed to face, deal with and I have needed healing. I learned to recognize that this was there, but I had not allowed myself to really deal with it and let the Lord heal me. I am in that process right now and it is not easy.  I feel like I have been on God’s operating table and He is going deep to get out these roots so I can finally heal. Facing the pain hurts but we need to allow ourselves to go there, feel the hurt and bring it before our Father so He can heal us. Stop trying to numb your pain or run from it. It WILL resurface and you will find yourself in this horrible cycle if you don’t face it. Yes, it is easier to avoid these things. It takes courage to face yourself and take honest inventory.

  So I encourage you all no matter how old you are to deal with your issues. Maybe there are things passed down from your parents or grandparents or maybe you have roots of fear or rejection. Maybe you were sexually abused as a child and you never faced the pain. Maybe your father or mother was not in your life or maybe they were there but they were emotionally absent. Were you bullied as a child? Did you come from an abusive home? We could do this all day, but you get the picture. We need to be real and honest with ourselves if we are to ever be truly free. I don’t know about you but I want to be free. I pray that this helps someone today. You can do this and you can be free. Let God show you the areas that need to be dealt with and let Him walk you through your healing and freedom. If you are already on this journey, I am so happy for you and I encourage you to keep going and walk out your freedom. God has given you everything you need to make it and live a victorious life.

 

~ Dez

You Were Meant To Stand Out

stand out
Why do so many of us compare ourselves to others? This world puts so much focus on the outer man and looking “perfect”. Why do we allow media to set the standard of what real beauty is? If you look at these models that you see on the cover of magazines, I can guarantee they are photoshopped to be flawless. What is so bad is that so many young girls look at these magazines and media and feel like they have to look a certain way or be a certain size to be beautiful. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with looking your best and taking care of your body. We should all do that, but we shouldn’t compare ourselves to anyone. What might work for one person, may not work for someone else.
Let me tell you that it took me years to learn to accept myself. I will never be a size 2 because my bone structure won’t allow it and I’m fine with that. So many of us women have a hard time accepting and loving ourselves. We look at the “perfect” images wherever we go and if we allow ourselves to start comparing, we will feel so bad about ourselves. I struggled for years with my self esteem and really thought I was ugly and fat. I never felt like I fit in anywhere and thought there was something wrong with me. It wasn’t until I allowed God in completely that He was able to heal me and set me free from my mess. I had to learn what He says about me in His word and believe it.
You see, we are all meant to be different. If we all looked the same and acted the same, this world would be boring. There’s a reason you and I are different. We need to embrace that and learn to love ourselves for who we are.
  God made us to be unique and He uses us in our uniqueness. It is so liberating when you learn to walk in that and to be happy with who He made you. No one can be a better you , than YOU! Never let anyone make you feel like there is something wrong with you because you don’t fit in their box. The only one who should be changing us is our Creator. He makes us better and better.
   A lot of people look at me funny because I have some tattoos and I am a bit different. I know it takes some old fashioned people who have been stuck in their ways a bit to embrace me and I’m okay with that. I know who I am and I know that My Father uses me just the way I am. I say this to encourage you to be yourself and embrace your differences. God needs us all with our differences because there is a variety of people who He needs to reach and we are His hands and feet on this earth. You can reach people that I won’t be able to and vice versa. Not everyone will set foot in a church building but we can reach others in our everyday life as we are free being all that our Father has made us to be and we allow His love to shine brightly through us. You are beautiful just the way you are. Never let anyone make you feel otherwise, not just because I say it,  but more importantly because your Heavenly Father says so.
Psalm 139:14 – I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..
~ Dez
#truthtalk

What Lies Are You Believing

Truth Talk with Dez

truth

I have put off the old man and have put on the new man, which is renewed in the knowledge after the image
of Him Who created me (Colossians 3:9,10)

Our lives are shaped by the things we believe, by the thoughts we accept and allow to become our truth. If we stop and really think about our thoughts about ourselves and our lives in general, we may be surprised by the lies we believe. Are there certain issues you have struggled to overcome? How do you see yourself? Do you struggle with being consistent or with finishing things you start?

Stop and think about what goes through your mind. If you struggle with any of these things, your thoughts probably go something like this, “I will never be able to lose weight. I am just not a disciplined person. I’m too afraid. I can’t do anything right. I’m so…

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We Are Wonder Women 


To all my sisters,
   Those that know me, know that I absolutely LOVE Wonder Woman. I have since I was a little girl. I often say that I am Wonder Woman. Some people might think that I am cocky but that’s not it. You see, there was a time when I didn’t see much in myself and I believed the enemy’s lies that tried to make me believe that I was ugly, weak, insignificant and that I had no value or purpose. I lived that way for years and was living a defeated life. 

 As I learned my identity in Christ and grew in my relationship with Him, He started to reveal what He has put in me. You see, He has put gifts and treasure within each of us and those things will be revealed as we draw closer to Him. His Spirit dwells on the inside of us so He has given us all that we need to overcome.

  There are so many of God’s daughters who walk around with their head hung low, with low self esteem and no confidence. There are so many with rejection issues who are looking for significance or value in people, jobs, money or things. 

  You have to know that you are so precious, so valuable and so loved by One who loves you more than any person can. God gave his only Son who was perfectly innocent to die so you could be free. If you are a mother, do you know anyone who you would sacrifice your child for? I know I can’t think of anyone. But God did this for you and me. What an amazing love. He accepts you just as you are and loves you just as you are. We are all imperfect people in need of a perfect Savior. 

  There are so many things that I love about Wonder Woman. She is fearless and so courageous. She is confident and knows who she is. She isn’t afraid to fight an enemy that is bigger than her or appears stronger because she knows the power she has. This is how us women are meant to be. 

  I know what it’s like to live bound by fear and I determined myself a long time ago to be free of fear. It has been a long journey, but I am a different woman than I was all those years ago. God has taught me how to face fear and overcome it. It is a process but as you lean on Him and allow Him to lead you, you can be free and you can be fearless, courageous and confident. I truly believe that there is a Wonder Woman on the inside of every woman and it is time to realize it and discover the hidden treasures that our Father has put on the inside of you. You are more powerful than you know. This is why the enemy tries to keep us bound by lies, fear and insecurity. He knows that when we know who we are and more importantly WHOSE we are, we are a threat to him and he will have no power over us. So ladies, I encourage you to rise up and be all that your Father has made you to be and watch what He will do through you. 
“Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?”

‭‭Esther‬ ‭4:14‬b ‭NLT‬‬
~ Dez